My “boot camp” trainer and I butted heads last week about how she markets her business. She gave me four excuses that surprised me — because I hear the same ones from you every day.
Believe it or not, this was a real mind-opener for me. I realized at the point that massage therapists, bodyworkers and other healing arts practitioners are not the only ones who have issues discussing money and the value of their Work.
So this week I’ve been addressing these common excuses one at a time. Today’s is:
“[Army wives] always expect stuff for free.”
There’s always going to be a certain group or a certain kind of person who feel they are “owed.” Keeping the freebie-seekers at arm’s distance take practice and confidence. Let’s break them down into three main groups.
Donation Seekers
Your kid’s school’s sports teams expect you to donate services left and right. The law firm next door is pressuring you to donate chair massage for their employee appreciation day. Your mom’s garden group is doing a fund raiser.
All these people try to attract you with: “You’ll get lots of business!”
Yeah.
I know you want to be helpful. I know you want more exposure for your practice. But ask yourself, what comes first right now? Building up worthwhile clientele or donating your time?
I strongly recommend picking one charity and focusing only on that. When I managed a agri-tourist farm we got donation requests from everyone. It was a relief and pleasure to be able to say, “Purple Haze focuses its donations on farmland and stream reclamation.” It was very freeing. My guidelines were clear. Requesters knew what my boundries were.
I do feel we have a responsibility to be charitable. I don’t feel you should deplete the health of your Work in the name of charity. It’s like eating: pick a healthy limit and stick to it.
Potential Clients Who Expect a Deal
These are the people that get my trainer’s knickers in a twist. With her, it’s the Army wives that feel Entitled.
Let me just say right here that I am an Army wife. I am very grateful for all the Federal support that is available to me should I need it. What gets a lot of Army spouses are the few that feel Entitled — by sheer dint of being an military spouse — to elevated level of privilege. (Whew! Okay. Deep breath.)
So what do you do when you get people who ask for the sun and the moon? Do you feel like you will lose a potential client if you don’t give them something extra-special just to get them through your door?
And those to whom you’ve delivered the sun and the moon, how did that client work out? Did they suck the life out of you? Or did they turn into a great, regular clients who recommend you to their friends? Really. I am asking.
There is nothing wrong AT ALL with people asking if you have discounts for certain things (seniors, disabled, bulk rates). There is something wrong with people allowing you to feel like you OWE them just because they’re potential clients.
Start each business relationship off on an honest footing. You will get and keep better clients that way.
“Friends”
Or friends of friends. You know the ones. “I’ll talk you up to all my friends!” “We can do trades!”
These are tough to turn down. What if this person gets mad at you for declining their offer? What if you agree, you fulfill your half of the bargain and then they disappear?
Me, I just don’t do free. Free — in financial terms — means a devalued, throw-away item.
If all someone wants is “free” then they need to look elsewhere. Now, if they value my service, are low on cash and are trying to find an out-of-the-box solution, I am happy to work with them.
What’s worked for me is a “friends and family financial exchange” where, for example I give them a deal at $100/hour and they give me a deal at $50/hr (or whatever). They pay me $100 for an hour’s consultation, then I promptly turn around and schedule two sessions at $50 each. Actual money exchanges hands, but it is essentially a trade.
Now that I start thinking more deeply about this, I am very interested to hear how you cope with “friends’” expectations.
All my best,
Eileen
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9 users commented in " “Army Wives Always Expect Stuff for Free.”: Massage marketing revelations from my “boot camp” trainer "
Eileen,
You are KILLING me! Ok… to better understand how I work I wanna hit a few things.
My first training job at a “Mega Gym”, I was told that I was most importantly a sales person. I thought that devalued my work. I am NOT a salesperson. I will not talk anyone into working with me. I value my services enough to let them speak for themselves. Word of mouth is my most valued sales technique. I quit that job because I refused to “sell”. The gym was confused because my numbers were the best but that was because of my passion for my work.
These are not excuses! I love your idea about the sign on my truck. I am willing to market for exposure. I will not try and talk people into coming stating the value of my packages. The reason they are discounted when you buy more is to help the people who are the most dedicated.
I just don’t enjoy taking about money. I wasn’t embarrassed to ask for payment. I truly don’t enjoy dealing with the financial aspect of my work. If I didn’t need to work, I would absolutely do this for free! I feel blessed to love my job! I don’t discount for anyone, but I love to trade. If someone can’t afford boot camp, I will usually find a way to trade that is mutually beneficial.
Don’t ever mistake my dislike of speaking about money with a lack of confidence in my work. I am great at my job. My passion, education and dedication set me apart and I feel like I have a lot of value. I want to bring my work to people who usually don’t have the financial opportunity to experience it. That is the ONLY reason my prices are well below market.
This is all said with love
and we missed you today! I hope your little one is better soon!
BUSTED!
Okay, Everyone? Meet Susan, my boot camp trainer. Susan, meet Everyone. Only Everyone doesn’t talk so much. I know they’re there, though; I can hear them breathing.
First off, the the discussion you and I had was all about you and your business. But the ideas our discussion gave me translated into ideas for bodyworkers by the time I got to work. Things that probably wouldn’t bug you so much I find are stumbling blocks for people I talk to everyday. So, while our discussion was the catalyst, these entries are based on the inspiration the discussion gave me.
Most of the stuff in this series has to do with ideas I’ve brought up in previous entries: don’t devalue your work, set your boundaries, etc. You gave me a new way to talk about it.
I knew the words “embarrassed” and “excuses” would get your … attention.
“Embarrassed” is not a word I would ascribe to you off-handedly. But I can’t think of a proper word that describes the hesitation that comes before one takes a deep breath and does what needs to be done even if one doesn’t like doing it. If such an adjective exists, that’s what popped me out of my every-day fog and got me listening to what you were saying. And got me thinking.
And I agree they may not be “excuses” for you, BUT they are the same things I hear day after day from my massage/bodywork clients. Almost to the word. Again, that’s what got me thinking. “Reasons”? perhaps?
For the other stuff: Market for exposure! Yes! That makes word-of-mouth that much more effective. When I gave you the example “line” about the value of your packages, that was simply an example. As I said (and do say all the time), your best marketing is done in your voice.
I know you’re not a salesperson. Our customers aren’t salespeople — thank goodness. I mean, can you imagine a sales oriented therapist? No, thank you. But many bodyworkers do need to understand that talking about money doesn’t turn them into salespeople. Taking ownership of The Fee Discussion makes them better practitioners and yields them better customers.
How on earth could I not think you confident?!? Of anything? Geez, lady! I have to buy new jeans this week due to your confidence. And it’s clear you love your work. Again, our discussion inspired me to address a problem I commonly hear from our customers. You price your Work where it works for you. Many customers I talk to — especially two-three years ago — were undermining themselves by lowering their prices or deeply discounting in an effort to get more people to come through the door. Ultimately this is not a business-building practice, though it is a “strategy” that is still suggested in many massage schools’ marketing class(es). Ugh! No! I’m going to keep fighting that idea until it flickers out.
I feel the love … and I’m sure I’ll really feel it come Monday. The Boy was slimy and then he exploded. But everything is better now. And cleaner.
Eileen
OK, also, because of this, I sound like I made a blanket statement that Army wives expect stuff for free. I CATER to army wives. Over half my clients are army wives. You and I are both… Army wives. I was talking about the reason I don’t give discounts is because my prices are already discounted. Some spouses, usually the ones who can more easily afford my services than the ones who cut corners to make sure they can afford them, ask for military discounts, teachers’s discounts, etc. etc. I have several teacher clients, so don’t go thinking I’m bashing them. I just stated that all my prices are on my website and that I don’t say anything more about the money because I don’t like to.
I don’t think you’re bashing anyone. And I’m pretty sure my readers knew what you meant, too. Becaaaause, there is always a group within any group that feels “entitled.” This mini-group is usually the one that requires far more effort than expected return.
Most of the MTs I talk to for more than 10 minutes bring up this type of situation. The overall expectation from this mini-group is that MTs will give their services away for free — and keep giving services away. It’s a real struggle for MTs/bodyworkers to be taken seriously; as part of a healthy life, not as a powder puff luxury.
I want healing practitioners to be aware that they don’t HAVE to allow this. And that practice will give them strength to resist this pitfall.
Hey Eileen,
Thanks for the topic and the posts. I’m reading through each one. Hopefully I will be able to comment on each.
I will tell you, there are two things that irk me (mildly stated): 1) being asked to do something for “free.” My most recent request was only a month ago. I was setting up a “Learn more about my business” table at a local bank. Which basically is a passive information-only table near the entrance and the tellers. Once the head teller heard I was a massage therapist, she was all about asking me to come in a couple of hours each week during the month. When I asked her how much I would be paid for my time, she blinked and sounded surprised, “Oh this would be for free. It will help build your business.” I lowered my head, nodded, and replied, “Thank you, I will take your request into consideration. I will talk to my massage therapy colleague about this, but I doubt we will have the time. We are only able to donate our services a few times per year. If you change your mind about hiring me or my co-worker for on-site chair massage, please give the office a call and we will set something up.”
Did I disappoint her? Probably. But I was fed up from all the years of requests for donations that never panned out. I used to work every community event, health fair, even the local tri-athalon in my town…for FREE. Did everyone who received work get 110% from me? Yes, they did. I was and still am passionate about massage therapy and bodywork (I do other modalities, too); I was all about making people feel good and educating them about the field, handing out information and giving self-care tips. Did my efforts pan out in increased business? Sadly, no.
The second is: 2) “We can do trades!” I am very gun-shy on this one. I have been burned so many times, that I will only do exchanges rarely, and only for a short duration. Many of my past “partners” would require our exchanges to be back-to-back on the same day. That sucked. I would either be too sore and had a hard time working on my partner right afterwards, or if I was on the table second, I would get a light-touch massage or a shorter-length massage because my partner was too tired or too “wonky” from treatment. So I stopped doing trades. My response to requests now is: “I would prefer to come and see you as a client and pay you. It’s so rare that I get to be the customer. I would like to be pampered and treated in that way again. If you would like to make an appointment with me, we can work out a payment arrangement.”
So, over time, I have been getting over my stigma about talking about money. I say getting over, because I still have my days. I am getting better about it. And, as a Army National Guard wife, I can tell you, that in my time of need, I want a hand up, not a hand out.
Thanks for posting on the topic.
Hey Kim,
GO GUARD!
As I said, I do trades, but I have been burned many times. I understand being “wonky” after work; who wouldn’t be? It also seems like the Other Party viewed a trade as “free” (ie: low value). For me, trading actual money has worked out. You want your $100 back? Better give me good value.
I like your “It’s so rare that I get to be the customer.” That shares your expectations clearly.
PERHAPS your response to trades could be revised and applied to people like the bank teller. I’m having a hard time coming up with a snazzy response right now, but you want to include the benefits of massage in the workplace and that you can either collect money from the business or from the workers or, or, or.
Maybe something like: “Well, depending on the number of hours you can either ask your workers to pay for their session or [your business] can bring me in as a quarterly award for a set fee. I think you’ll notice production and accuracy will spike for the rest of the week.”
Maybe not. But don’t bow your head. Figure out what the options are and tell them. “I can do A or B. Which would you prefer?”
Go, Kim, go!
I need to make the time to participate in these discussions more often!
I agree whole-heartedly about valuing your time. I had a lively discussion once with someone who was giving me the whole “you can build your business by doing this” routine and I basically said, “I don’t work for free. Do YOU?” It constantly amazes me the number of people who expect something for nothing. You don’t have to be a brain surgeon to figure out that when you give your services for free, what you get is a bunch of people who want something for free. I’ve only had my license for 3 years, so I’m sort of learning the hard way. But I’m a fast learner.
I’ve worked a couple of “events” in the hope of exposure and gotten very little out of it. One hopeful event was for a radio station who put my name on the air for free in exchange for doing their thing. I got one $5 tip and $20 from the DJ (out of her own pocket). Not one person at the event ever called me. They were people who wanted the “free” stuff that was being given away!
Lesson learned.
I consulted with a former teacher who makes a lot of money doing chair massages about how I should handle such situations. At events where they do real massages, someone pays them, whether the sponsor of the event or the clients themselves—they charge for it. At events like health fairs, I do as my teacher advised: I give them HALF of a massage. For about 5 minutes. You work half their body (they choose which half) for five minutes, just so they can tell the difference between the left side and the right side.
That’s it; that’s all they get. I have brochures. I talk about the health benefits. I offer a discount on their first massage if they book an appointment on the spot (I have my appointment book ready). I offer gift certificates for sale. I’ve gotten enough appointments from working it this way that it’s worth my while. I’ve gotten a few regular clients from it, which is REALLY worth my while.
If anyone can add suggestions to make it even more successful, I’d love hearing them.
Hey Maria, where ya been?
Yeah, very few MTs get much from events, but those who do, get something worthwhile out of it. I honestly can’t figure out whether it’s due to their personalities or their marketing or what. (Sometimes I think about going into massage just so I can figure it out.)
I like the 1/2 body approach. I’m assuming people in your chair understand they’re getting a 1/2 body session. (I do wonder, out of pure ignorance, if there is a physical issue with people walking around with 1/2 of relaxedness and 1/2 of daily yuck.)
Hooray for finding a way that works for you! How does it make you FEEL? How did you feel when you first started offering it? Weird? Empowered? Better with practice? Share.
Eileen
[...] The Alone Factor: Your chance to reach out to other massage therapists & bodyworkers Posted in October 26th, 2010 by Eileen in Beyond the Basics, Networking I did an entry a while ago about four excuses I hear every day from massage therapists. These common excuses are merely stumbling blocks. They can be easily cleared up with confidence-building and practice. [...]
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