When I was a kid, one of my favorite jokes was:
Patient: “Doctor! It hurts when I do this!”
Doctor: “Well, don’t do that.”

I thought of this — and you — as I wheezed down the turn lane of a four lane highway this morning. My mom’s partially blind, selectively deaf and judiciously mulish dog had escaped and I was joggling after her. (Not jogging. Joggling. I don’t jog.)

I am given to understand that when most people with sedentary lifestyles suddenly engage in an inspired-by-death run, they resolve to get in shape. They resolve to get in shape so that when something like this happens again, they will be better able to meet the challenge.

I resolve to never be in the position of chasing after a dog again.

“Wheezing Doesn’t Make a Good Impression: Prep work can make or break a marketing event” continues »

I wondered why it was so dark in my shower this morning. Turns out it was precisely thirty nine thousand, eight hundred and two ladybugs covering the inside of my skylight.

My first question involved swearwords. But my second question was, “How did they get in here?”

When it comes to your clients, you should know the answer to that second question … for each and every client.

“Ladybug, Ladybug: An infestation prompts questions about your massage practice advertising” continues »

This weekend I was trying to muster enthusiasm to paint the bathroom. You know how it is: your mind goes into denial and casts about for anything to distract it. My eyes lighted on a can of athlete’s foot spray on the counter (on my husband’s side). It read, “Helps prevent athlete’s foot!”

Well, of course it prevents athlete’s foot. Obviously. Why are you telling me this?

Ah. It’s because I didn’t think of the preventative benefit until they pointed it out.

“Point It Out: Lessons from a can of foot spray” continues »

This picture is from Eagan’s, a local burger drive through.

Eagan’s has been around approximately a million and twelve years … give or take. Last Thursday was the first time I have seen any new signage of any sort outside their business.

Last week the board read: Make Your Burger Better for Only a Buck!

I liked that message. Short, sweet, to the point. I knew they sold burgers and I could make mine fancy for a dollar more.

This week their sign reads: Make Any Burger a Meal! and follows with a large “$1″ and “$2″ so a driver can quickly see how little a “meal” will cost.

“Make Your Burger Better for Only a Buck!: Simple messages keep it clear, easy” continues »

Matt was behind the door when they were handing out romance. No. Scratch that. He was six blocks away, locked in a vault, thinking deep thoughts.

In an effort to avoid the debacle of last Valentine’s (a card purchased at a gas station containing a piece of paper torn from a notebook reading: “Get yourself a couple of massage sessions. You deserve it.”), Matt and I brainstormed ways that would make both of us happy.

“Spell. It. Out.: Valentine’s promotional messages for the romantically handicapped” continues »

Heads up: It’s five weeks until Valentine’s Day, the second highest gift certificate purchasing occasion of the year. Have you reminded your clients you have Valentine’s gift certificates available?

My mom’s lawn guy is a total smartypants.

In the days before Christmas we got 13 inches of snow, which is a lot for OlyWa. Good Daughter that I am, I made my way to Mom’s to shovel her driveway. Lo and behold, there was Dennis the Lawn Guy on his little skid steer Bobcat neatly, quickly and (most importantly) effortlessly clearing snow off Mom’s drive.

“Easy, Plan-ahead Massage Marketing Ideas: Charm loyal clients and attract new ones” continues »

It’s about this time of year — when I’m cleaning the Thanksgiving leftovers out of my fridge to make room for my Christmas dinner leftovers — that I make all sorts of resolutions. And, yes, they are the same ones I made last year: I have got to be better organized.

“Thanksgiving Leftovers: The lessons they bring” continues »

I heard a story on NPR last week about the effect of the current economy on the beauty industry.

I know bodywork isn’t all about beauty but you can’t deny there are similarities in how the businesses reach their clients.

One of the people they interviewed was a salon owner on Rodeo Drive in LA. He acknowledged that many of his customers were waiting longer between “sessions” and not getting their roots touched up or eyebrows waxed as often as they had before. I guess dark roots are in this season.

“Adding a Little Class: One way to keep clients engaged” continues »

This is just me thinking aloud here …

Now is a great time to contact your A List clients with a special deal for them. The following is my current Shower Thought.

WalMart (I know, I know, but work with me on this) is gathering the attention of marketing gurus because of how they are presenting their products to customers this year. What WalMart is doing is “value bundles.”

“Give Your Best Clients a Treat without Spending More” continues »

Last night I got to talking with Heather Furby about the difficulty in A) balancing personality and professionalism in her website’s text and B) balancing science and spirit while explaining her work to people.

Oh. Yeah. That is a toughie.

Potential clients either back away from words like “energy” and “spirit” claiming they just want their neck to quit hurting so much. Or they go all glassy-eyed when you mention “kinesiology” or “paresthesias” and say they just want to meditate with you.

“Half & Half: Writing for lefties and righties” continues »